This is the first of several encouragements to parents, containing excerpts and paraphrased points from Pastor Rick Anderson’s 5 sermons on Ephesians 6:4 preached some years ago.
And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
“When under the providence of God a man and woman have a child, they have kindled a spark that can never be put out. How can we look on a child without thoughtful anxiety that an existence is commenced for eternity.” (Robert Lewis Dabney).
God’s word is sufficient to instruct parents in raising their children, but in this case it is very brief, only one verse containing two directives.
Briefly summarized, the Bible’s instructions warn parents not to rule their children harshly, but to raise them tenderly with fairness, firmness and fondness.
The briefness of the Bible’s teaching here contrasts with a common craving in parents to rely instead on long, detailed lists of tips, techniques and fool-proof step-by-steps that try to guarantee that “a good kid will come out in the end,” thus ignoring the danger of becoming too mechanical, complicated and legalistic in nurturing their children.
The brief directives guide parents in an extended process with their child,
a process of nurturing a relationship—a close friendship–with their child,
a process beginning with a tight leash of parental control, a leash that lengthens and slackens as the child learns to exercise personal responsibility,
a process requiring the parents to seek God ‘s grace to help and strengthen them to bring up their child, as they seek God’s grace to save their child,
a process of training the child to walk in the way of the Lord that leads to life rather than the way of the world and of sin that leads to death,
a process to form the character of the child, so that the child, following Christ, may be useful to others in the world and prepared for the world to come,
a process of parents bringing them up, careful to avoid exasperating and provoking them to anger.
And using this one verse and these brief Bible directives to guide them, parents may then draw upon the entire Bible full of truth about life and righteous living, sufficient to teach what to believe concerning God and what duties God requires, so that they may bring their children up in the instruction of the Lord.
