Marriage Helps #7
The next counsel to couples that Pastor gives at weddings is to entertain no options and to enliven the routine.
Entertain no options.
Marriage is faithfully preserved in the context of a no-quit diligence. A happy marriage is not automatic. Though every marriage is made in heaven (even those that are earthly wrecks), they will not flourish without dedicated effort and will fade and falter if neglected. Affection can turn to apathy. Willingness can wilt. Interest can become intermittent, excitement turn to exasperation, attraction to aversion, enjoyment to enmity.
There are challenges to the commitment: our own self-centered sinfulness and laziness. There are the children, precious blessings who require persistent time and energy, creating demands that test the commitment. The world disdains such a commitment. It is a commitment that must be worked at, relying on God’s grace, as a labor of love with great patience, humility and self-denial.
Do not give up! Entertain not options. Seek no exit strategy. Diligently deal with anything that might divide you from Christ or one another. The world will assail and mock your roles. Satan, who hates this institution for what it illustrates, will throw temptations and snares in your path. Resist the devil. Submit and draw near to God.
Enliven the routine.
Marriage is faithfully preserved in the context of loving creativity, imagination and spontaneity. Love is an initiating grace, a creative grace and an interested grace, interested and absorbed with its object. “Healthy Christian marriages should be creative, daring and occasionally extravagant” (A Begg).
Do not despise routine. Encourage one another to be faithful in the mundane, ordinary—yet needful—tasks; but be careful that the routine does not produce discouragement or disinterest.
Be careful to stay out of ruts. Do not take each other for granted. Spice-up the plain meal. Warm the cold dish with some planned variety. Plan for regular “dates” and for longer getaway’s, for unhurried, un-harried times together. Make the time and then redeem it. Find a new place to go, a new activity, a new ministry or new service to engage in. Allow for spontaneity. Engage in surprises–a card, note or gift that does not fall on a holiday or birthday. Love it up. Live it up. Be creative, imaginative and spontaneous co-workers for each other’s temporal and eternal joys.
