Marriage Helps #15
In this version of “Marriage Helps” Paul’s instructions to wives for the faithful practice of marriage continue. God gives to the wife the role of helper and complement to her husband and the responsibility to be subject to him.
Be subject to your own husband as to the Lord . . . as the church is subject to Christ, so also be subject to your husband in everything (Ephesians 5:22-24).
The wife is to be subject to her husband as she is subject to Christ, to be subject to him because of her regard for Christ, “as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18), showing an example of what it means to “do all in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Colossians 3:17). “There is no possibility of a married woman’s surrender to a heavenly Christ that is not made visible and actual by her submission to her earthly husband” (Begg). Through her relationship with her husband, the submission that Christ delights in is practically worked out. This submission protects “the word of God [from being] dishonored” (Titus 2:5), and it may be a means of “winning” a disobedient unbelieving spouse to Christ (I Peter 3:1-2).
The wife is to be subject to her husband in everything. Everything is all encompassing including things like finances, raising and disciplining the children, where to live and what church to attend. It does not include sin. It does not mean that the wife cannot offer counsel and insights, make an appeal or disagree with her husband. A wise husband will seek his wife’s wisdom and counsel. However, once his will is made known, she should seek to graciously support and follow.
The wife is to be subject to her husband with an attitude of respect, “and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). In I Peter 3:5-6 Peter describes Sarah’s exemplary submission to Abraham in terms of how she responded to him and how she addressed him. She respected her husband, not because he was the best or never messed up or never acted selfishly, but she knew that the Lord had placed him in the position of authority (Begg).
A wife might assess how well she is carrying out the responsibility to be subject to her husband by considering the following 3 “A’s”.
What is your attitude toward your husband: moody, resistant, resentful, discontent, ready to say, “I told you so!” when his decision works out poorly?
How do you address or speak to your husband: respectfully or complaining, interrupting and adding a sarcastic, “Yes, your Highness.”
How do you act toward him? Do you actively support his leadership in the home? Do you simply do as he asks, or do you challenge, manipulate and drag your feet all the way, when he gives direction or recommends a certain course of action?
