Marriage Help – Part 1
The Bible’s instructions about marriage begin with the gospel of Christ. Every husband and every wife needs the Savior. Frustration and confusion follow where this truth is not embraced.
Husbands and wives must embrace the gospel of grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. They are helpless without Him. Marriage can be faithfully practiced and fully enjoyed only by those who have received the gospel grace of Christ and who, in dependence upon Christ, are actively appropriating and exercising gospel graces.
Before he gives specific instructions regarding marriage (and parenting) in Colossians 3:18-21, Paul first lays the vital foundation of gospel grace that husbands and wives (and fathers and mothers) need in Colossians 3:12-17.
Paul’s marriage instructions are intended for husbands and wives who have already received by faith gospel grace, that is, the salvation benefits of God’s affection and God’s rescuing action on behalf of sinners through Christ. That they are already recipients of gospel grace can be understood in Paul’s descriptions of his readers as, “chosen of God, holy and beloved (verse 12),” “just as the Lord forgave you (verse 13)” and “called in one body (verse 15).”
Paul’s marriage instructions further expect that husbands and wives are actively cultivating gospel graces, that is, they are bearing the fruit of righteous thoughts, attitudes, words and actions that grow in the lives of those who have been changed by the grace of God. Cultivating gospel graces requires the believer to actively depend upon Christ in faith, and it is part of the “renewal” that takes place, when we believe in Christ and “put on the new self (verse 10).” Gospel graces to be nurtured include those named in verses 12-14. “Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against any one; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”
Paul’s marriage instructions also assume that husbands and wives are enjoying the benefits of the gospel gifts of “the peace of Christ” and “the word of Christ” (verses 15 and 16) and are engaged in the gospel calling summarized in verse 17. “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”
Here is where the instruction about marriage begins: Husbands and wives must embrace the gospel by a believing commitment to Christ and by an active dependence upon the Spirit of Christ in order to bear the fruit of the Spirit and to put on the righteous character of Christ in their marriage.
