And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).
There are two means God intends for parents to employ in bringing up their children: the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Instruction is more specific and means “to place before the mind”, indicating verbal instruction, warning, counsel, admonition, persuasion, encouragement and exhortation. Instruction is more mental training with words as compared to discipline, which suggests more training by action. Instruction involves ongoing communication, parent with child. Eli failed here with his sons, “he did not rebuke them (I Samuel 3:13).”
What is the parent to instruct? Instruction includes whatever is necessary and beneficial for the child’s nurture. The wise parent will draw from the treasures of instruction found in the Proverbs on righteous living, friendship, sensuality, immorality, wisdom, folly, riches, labor, laziness and use of time, tongue and temper. Parental instruction will also set forth the whole counsel of God’s word regarding the child’s soul, heaven, hell, sin, death, judgment, faith, repentance, Christ as God, Man Prophet, Priest, King, Redeemer, Ruler, Advocate, Intercessor, Master and Minister of their souls.
How should the parents instruct? They should instruct both informally and formally, during the ongoing conversation of life and during designated times. In order that instruction might become a natural feature of daily, informal, interactions, parents ought to establish an environment in the home which is informed by the word of God, bringing the Christian point of view into all of life, recognizing that Christ is Lord of all. In addition, regular times should be set aside for more formal instruction, addressed not as preachers or lecturers, but as fathers. This should be done gently and patiently (I Thessalonians 2:7-12), soberly and cheerfully, creatively, affectionately, earnestly, carefully adapting the lessons to their capacities. They will not learn the best things, unless you teach them.
What is required of a parent to become a good instructor? It requires self-denial, self-spending, self-study. The Scriptures in the hands of a loving father are a most excellent teacher.
